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Duck-billed Platypus sucks man’s face off at Wimbledon
other observations: Andrew Murray is about to serve with broccoli. Somebody has stolen the man’s horse standing next to Murray. Both Andy and the wee man next to Andy appear to be plugged in.
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Nobody is talking about Flamini, says everybody.
For the past few weeks, everybody in football has been talking about how nobody in football is talking about Arsenal midfielder Matthew Flamini. An Arsenal fan from Motuo, China, was quick to react:...
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An open letter to every publisher in the world
Dear every publisher in the world. This letter is not typed from a bitter place. My heart is a smiley sticker. As I type, I type these words with Captain Happy in control at the wheel of my brain. I...
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what I think about when I’m running…
My jogging tip for anyone thinking about running is to decide the night before to go in the morning. In the morning decide to go in the night. That night decide to go in the morning. Repeat. Earlier...
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why vehicles in tense situations don’t start when people want them to
Death is coming, packaged in the form of a zombie, a vampire, a giant slug, or even a very slow moving blob. You run, you aren’t fit, so your insides feel like a pepperoni crushed in the hairy palm of...
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Artists, be strong. The world is trying to change you.
I am a writer. World, stop trying to change me. Please. I don’t need to change. I am the living embodiment of change because this is who I am and what I want to be. I make enough money from writing...
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Bob Has Arrived!
UK LINK www.amzn.to/BinOfBob US LINK www.amzn.to/USBinOfBob Amardeep Thinqir is a fourteen year old Muslim boy, and he’s keeping his thoughts to himself. He lives on a council estate in South London....
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A little story about my interview with the BBC
I arrived at the BBC studios early, I’m always early. I sat in a shop over the road wondering if I was going to make it through the interview without forgetting my name. I drank a coffee. But not...
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10 ways to tell if you are turning into a depressed Atlantic Puffin…
1) You are persistently sad, anxious and feel empty inside. Invisible even – this, despite noticing that your nose turns a brilliant orange when thinking about sex. 2) You find yourself...
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A little bit of reasoning, as to why we are here
A grey haired man fell over. Stumbled, hit the pavement hard with his palms facing down. The man walking behind the fallen man stopped. He leant down and offered his hand, which the older guy took with...
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